Old Res Wedding

As you may recall from my post about O-Week, life in residences is a bit different then it is in the States. The best possible example of this would have to be Old Res Wedding, something I had the privelege of attending a few days ago.

With the festivities set to kick off at six thirty, most people on Res begin drinking at four or so. Got to do this right. I abstain from such activities yet because I have a lot of beer and not a lot of liquor. Following the old addage Beer before liquor, never sicker, I hold off on joining the fray right away, instead I get ready for the event.

This is not an ordinary party. After all, the word "Wedding" is included. Its a dress up affair. So, break out the shirt and tie and get ready to wow the crowd. I was informed that I looked good by numerous people, some of them attractive women with Australian accents. This night is starting our the right way.


At six thirty, with six pack of Jim Bean and coke in hand, I head over to one of the common rooms for the "Buck Party" (the women head over to another place for the Hen party.) Basically, this is a bachelor party. Everyone drinks...a lot, they "draw" for a groom (meaning they put our names in the hat pick one, but have already determined who the groom would be.) We ate some sandwiches, drank some more. Life is good.

My friend Tommy is "selected" to be groom. This basically means that he gets to drink more then the rest of us and is guranteed a pash (kiss) from the bride later that night. Congrats to him. We sing to him, egging him on to skull whatever someone hands him. Good times. I get sung to a few times as well, probably because I was representing the Northern Hemisphere.

"Its a lot of pressure, representing an entire hemisphere. But I think I can handle it," I tell on the of SRs.

(And seriously, there was nobody from the Northern Hemisphere there. No Americans, Europeans, Canadians, Asians...nobody.)

In the meantime, the big screen TV is showing hilights of past Masters tournaments. The general concensus: golf sucks. So, some one puts a porno into the DVD player. We then proceed to make fun of the movie from its bad writing to worse acting. Then we drank some more. Do you see a trend here?

Somewhere in between all of this I went back to my room to get more drinks (note to self: XXXX is possibly the worst beer ever) and on the way back started singing Phi Mu Alpha songs. It was a good night.

Eventually, because no bachelor party is complete without one, a stripper shows up. Gives Tom a lap dance, does her thing. One of my friends asks me how this compares to frat parties back in the States.

"This is right up there with the best of them," Cheers to that, you can guess what happened next.

After the stripper finishes up, we mingle for a little while, drinking more. I meet up with an Australian who tells me he went to Tennessee.

"You know Rocky Top?" he asks.

"Hell yeah Rocky Top!" I reply, we then sing the chorus from Rocky Top, something that would have bewildered the bejesus out of anyone else had they not been totally pissed. Like I said, it was a fun night.

We then go over and meet up with the girls who are just as drunk as we are. The "wedding" involves a guy playing a priest yelling something a long the following:

"CAN I GET AN AMEN!"

Crowd: AMEN

Preiset: I CAN'T HEAR YOU?

Crowd: AMEN!!

Preist: I THINK NEW RES AND ARSCOTT ARE STILL SLEEPING! WAKE 'EM UP!!

Crowd: AMEN!!!! (as loud as possible)

Then there was some part where we knelt and said some sort of prayer or blessing for the new couple, who then kissed. We cheered. Some girl asked if I wanted some of her drink, and by ask I mean put to my lips and poured down throat. Fun times, fun times indeed.

We then went to the Uni Bar and got strange looks from people who couldn't figure out why we were all wearing suits and the such were here.

Overall, just a fantastic night, somehow made even better by the fact that this happened (and was supported by) Residential Services.

I love this country.

Alan