The Touch Footy Post

Its been asked for, maybe even demanded. And now, I bring you the touch footy post.

Right now most of you are thinking, what is footy? Is Alan getting some hot Australian action that he's not telling us about? In reality, footy is another name for rugby so you can go ahead and feel silly now.

No one realls calls rugby "rugby" down here. Its footy. Channel 9 even advertises for Friday Night Footy and Monday Nght Footy (which to my delight, does not feature John Madden.) You don't ask if the rugby's on, you don't say you're watching the rugby. Its footy. Not that if you call it rugby, the locals will look at you strange, but you learn pretty quick that rugby is referred to as footy.

So, as you can guess, touch footy is....touch rugby. Given what you know about rugby (not a lot, I'm presuming) you're probably wondering how touch footy works. Wouldn't you just get touched over and over again with everything ending in a draw?

Not if you use league rules! There are two forms of rugby, and we'll get into those a while later. But, in league rules, after a tackle (or in this case touch) the defense must back up 10 metres and allow the offense some space to advance the ball.

Other than that, standard rugby rules apply: pass it backwards, five touches till turnover, ground the ball on the try, and don't drop the ball. A rule I became familar with in this evenings comp.

I've delayed writing this post because I wanted to actually get a feel for the game before I wrote about it. The first week I was confused as confused could be. I knew to pass backwards, but the defense backing up part? What was that?

So, I'd run a bit, we'd get a tackle, back up a little before hearing the ref, "back with me, white shirt!" (I was wearing a white shirt, but you figured that out.) So, I did a lot of running, a lot of not figuring out the game, and we got killed something like 10-3.

The next two weeks I gradually got in the flow. I was able to read plays a bit, get some good runs (with the ball even!) and had a lot more fun, though I swear the ref backs up more then 10 metres. This especially sucks when the other team goes on a long run on the opposite side of the field. Because, you then have to run that distance (not after them, you stay spread out to maintain a line) plus the additional ten metres. Because if your team makes a tackle whilst offside...its another 5 touches to the other team.

Personally, I thought touch footy would make a great fun cross country practice. (A practice where you run to keep your legs fresh, but not neccesarily work them because there's a meet coming up. In high school this was usually a game of Ultimate played seemingly 20 aside)

This week, my team, the mighty Pink Salmons (record 0-3...2 by forfit since we didn't have enough girls on our team) showed up to the oval to take on the Lions. This was sure to be an amazing clash that would wow the UCU Touch Club for years to come.

The score was tied 1-1 in the first half when the Salmon used some brilliant running to get close to the Lions try line. I slipped out to wing (close to sideline). My friend Beela gets on a run but just as he's touched (and has drawn the outside defender in) he passes the ball out to me. I'm thinking "Holy s***! I'm about to score a try!" Knowing I had to ground the ball, I glance up to judge how far I had to run before grounding.

At that point the ball hit me square in the hands and fell to the ground. Somehwere, John Madden is informing the world how you can't take your eyes off the ball.

Later in the half, the score is now 2-1 in favor of the Mighty Salmon. Once again, we've gotten the ball close to the try line, once again I'm on the wing. Once again Beela has drawn in the defense and throws me the ball.

"Don't drop it again, moron." I said to myself. It worked, I secured the ball, sprinted across the line, and put the ball down. I had scored a try, I was God of Touch Footy. As Kenny Maine might say, "I am amused by the simplicity of this game, bring me your finest meats and cheeses."

I was then promptly offside on the ensuing tap (starting the next possession). I was no longer God of Touch Footy, but I'd still take some of those cheeses.

Later on in the half, the Lions are threatening the Salmon try line. They send a ball out wide, which goes over its intended target and right onto my fingertips. The ball hits my hand, falls to the ground. I'm thinking "Lateral! You can pick this up and run!" So I do. I scopp the ball off the ground and sprint off for the try line. This is sweet.

Have you ever wondered what goes through a football players mind while he's running down the field with a defender chasing him. If its anything like how I felt its something like this:

"I'm going to score! Wahoo! Nothing between me and the tryline! Unless that guy catches me! (look back) No, I can beat him! I'm totally getting my second try of the game! (look back) Dude, he's gaining. He's fast. My high school nickname was the Sloth. Afterburners...go! Now slide, ground the ball! Aww man...I think he got me a metre from the try line."

The two of us (myself and the defender) now await the teams to come down the field. Except they aren't coming. Instead, I see the ref waving us back down there. I jog back down the field where one of my teammates informs me, "You dropped the ball."

Yeah, even that little brush off my fingertips was a "knock-on" which brought the ball over to the other team. My fellow Salmon were impressed with my run, even though it didn't count. That made me feel a little better, but having to go from second try of the game to playing defense right away....not as fun.

Overall though, touch footy is a fun game. If you want more information, here's the Australian national site.

Here's what the highly academic Wikipedia has to say about it.

I might buy a rugby ball over here and teach the game to you guys back home. Besides, throwing and kicking a rugby ball round is fun. We shall see.

Oh, and in the excitement of the three posts yesterday I forgot to mention...THE EELS WON!!! A thrilling golden point win over the Wests Tigers. A joy to watch.

Till next time,

Alan